Many Lives
by starshifter
Summary: One shot Angst Yusuke POV. Why? Because I can...so ;p


A/N: Quickie Yusuke Songfic.  
Check Out my Yu Yu /Naruto Crossover 'Demon Flux'  
-star  
Disclaimer: I don't own YUYU. or Bittersweet Symphony. There. I said it.  
Happy? Cause damn I wish I did- I'd be rich.  
  
lyrics   
everything else is Yusuke's thoughts.  
  
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life  
Try to make ends meet  
You're a slave to money then you die  
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down  
You know the one that takes you to the places  
where all the veins meet yeah,  
  
How many lives do people live out in a course of a lifetime?  
Is it like the hats they may wear or the things they may do?  
Too many lifetimes- and still no one can see the pain I am in - the things  
I do  
because no one else seems to do them.  
It's not like I want to do them either - I'd like to fade away into a  
crowd. I want my  
face to remain nameless like it used to be back then, before Keiko, before  
I died -  
everything was pretty bleak then, it's true-I was without a friend in the  
world.  
I was alone.  
But, I have always been alone.  
  
No change, I can change  
I can change, I can change  
But I'm here in my mold  
I am here in my mold  
But I'm a million different people  
from one day to the next  
I can't change my mold  
No, no, no, no, no  
  
I still am alone.  
  
Well I never pray  
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah  
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah  
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now  
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now  
  
I know there must be others like me out there - with this hole in their  
very being -  
and I know they must seek to fill it. Are the lives they lead - these hats  
they wear a reflection of that? An indirect window into their souls - that  
you can only see in  
their eyes - that is.....if they let you.....  
What do I do to fill my hole? I don't know that I can. That scares me.  
I am afraid - I am afraid of what I may do - What destruction I may cause -  
and powers I may unleash.  
So I wear my masks - I don't want them to see. I don't want them to see my  
fear - my  
pain.  
  
I don't know that they'd even care.  
The demons wouldn't - not Kurama or Hiei - because demons don't have these  
troubles ....  
Or do they?  
  
Sometimes - something does slip by me. It scared me that the old hag could  
see  
right through me- she actually spoke aloud the fears I have always carried  
in my  
heart.....the fear that I am alone.  
  
It worries me - that someone....who else can see? What if they see - but they  
don't tell me?  
  
No change, I can change  
I can change, I can change  
But I'm here in my mold  
I am here in my mold  
And I'm a million different people  
from one day to the next  
I can't change my mold  
No, no, no, no, no  
I can't change  
I can't change  
  
Now I feel vulnerable and alone.  
My face is wet....I am crying  
Quick! I must find my mask again.  
I can't let my guard drop! Never, Never again!  
  
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life  
Try to make ends meet  
Try to find some money then you die  
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down  
You know the one that takes you to the places  
where all the things meet yeah  
  
'she does her best to care for me - and I her. I love my mother - don't get  
me  
wrong- and we truly belong together as mother and son.  
But, with her or without her -  
I am alone.  
  
Because of these lives I've lived.  
Before I was around Keiko I was alone.  
When I died - I saw how alone I was -  
Even though people acknowledged me -  
They do not KNOW the real me - and so I am even more alone.  
  
You know I can change, I can change  
I can change, I can change  
But I'm here in my mold  
I am here in my mold  
And I'm a million different people  
from one day to the next  
I can't change my mold  
No, no, no, no, no  
  
I was thrown into the Spirit Detective gig.  
I had no clue that it was even possible to be reincarnated or brought back  
to life-  
and I don't even know - to this day - why they bothered.  
I wasn't alone at that time -  
because I didn't FEEL. How can you feel alone when you are dead?  
After I was reincarnated - I thought I could make a difference -  
I thought I could find another life - find a way to rid myself of -  
or share the loneliness that still pervades and haunts me.  
But, I couldn't.....  
  
I can't change my mold  
no, no, no, no, no,  
I can't change  
Can't change my body,  
no, no, no  
  
Now I wear even more hats -  
live so many other lives- faces I wear without a second thought  
and the real me is buried - suffocating - not able to get out  
Different things to different people.  
But it's funny - they always think they KNOW me.  
  
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down  
Been down  
Ever been down  
Have you ever been down?  
  
I walk down the dark street to the Underground Club. There is a band there  
I really  
like to hear - and people who let me see the pain behind their eyes. I let  
them see my  
pain too. They don't know me and I don't know them. It doesn't matter-  
because we  
found a haven- where we can drop our masks.  
  
No one knows I come here - not Keiko-- Botan- the old Hag- - all of them.  
If they knew - somehow - I wouldn't feel better or worse about it -  
But I am afraid -  
that they would know -  
or see-  
the real me -  
that I don't even know......  
  
I see the pain....I see the pain behind your eyes Yusuke  
  
fIN 


End file.
